Radio K.A.O.S.in Concert

The following is a transcription by Gerhard Den Hollander, of the last Radio K.A.O.S. show performed in London in 1987. I had to do hours of editing! And still in some cases the accuracy is not exact. It seems as though this transcription was done, in part, by translation, and perhaps in some cases not very accurate, or in other instances by someone not fluent enough in English to interpret syntax, meanings, or slang correctly.

Jim:- 	Alright, let me introduce you to one of the intrinsic parts of
		the bleeding heart band. This is a gentleman who has a solo album
		out on his own , which is doing quite well. He is the keyboardist
		forthe Bleeding Heart Band, and he was in a group called Ace at one
		time, also Squeeze, and most recently, Mike and the Mechanics.

		Will you please welcome the keyboard player of the Bleeding 
		Heart Band, Ladies and gentleman Paul Carrack.

(the band enters the stage)

"Tempted" is played. 

Jim:- 	So for the very last time, we are about to link up with the 
		satelite , we will begin the last show of the Radio KAOS tour 
		with one more telephone call, this one from outside london: 


Billy:- Hello, I'm Billy
Jim:- 	Yes
Billy:- I hear Radio Waves in my head
Jim:- 	You hear Radio Waves in your head, Ok is there a request 


"Radio Waves" is played.

Jim:-	That was a song called Radio Waves by Roger Waters
 		And The Bleeding Hearts Band 
 		
(Jingle: "K.A.O.S. Radio)

Jim:-	You're listening to a live satelite broadcast,
		from KAOS on the road
		and we've got Billy on the line

Billy:- I'm from the valley's.
Jim:- 	You're from the Valley ?
Billy:- No Jim you schmuck, the valleyS
Jim:- 	Ja The Valleys.
Billy:- Wales, Male voice choires.
Jim:- 	Ah whales England, now is this sperm or bluetip ?
Billy:- Ha Ha Ha Ha very funny Jim.
Jim:- 	Sorry, but obviously when you were put together
		batteries were not included,
		is that why your voice sounds like eh.
Billy:- I'll show you Jim.

Jim:-	Look all of that aside,
		I'm just glad that you're with us tonight,
		welcome to the machine.


"Welcome To The Machine"is played

Jim:-	KAOS on the road,
		Let's go back to the telephones now, while you were listening 
		to that last song, Billy and I were having a conversation and 
		he was explaining me how he was able to call me here at the 
		station.
		
Billy:- I was able to use the cordless phone Jim, otherwsise I would 
		be completely incommunicado.
Jim:-	Aaah, yeah.
Billy:- I can hack my way into anywhere I choose
Jim:-	Let me get this straight, you can hack your way into...
Billy:-	See that light bulb next of you...
Jim:- 	Yes ?

(BANG lightbulb explodes)

Billy:- Information is power Jim!
Jim:- 	Information is power, I like that.
		But let me get this straight, you've just moved out to LA and 
		you're living with you're great Uncle David?
		You're a long way form home pal.

Billy:- I miss the male voice choire's and Molly.
Jim:- 	Who's molly?
Billy:- Benny's wife.
Jim:- 	Who's benny?
Billy:- Me and Benny went out...

"Who Needs Information" is played.

(News Flashes)
...Further Conflicts in Northern Ireland... two man have been shot 
dead by undercover securirty forces...

...Australia has protested against Ethiopea about the seizure of 
a ship carrying relief aid from Australia, part 
of its cargo was destined for the rebel controlled area of 
Eritrea and Tigre Provinces. Confiscation...
 
...Obviously if we are producing weapons that we do not need, and
that we cannot even justify to our own people, then we are  going
to supply them to others, And when that happens, then we are fuelling wars!
 
...20% of the worlds scientists are involved in weapons research.
25% of research and development worldwide is spent on weapons.
50% off all british government research and development is done on weapons.
More financial and intelectual resources are devoted to the production of weapons 
worldwide then is spent on producing all other commodities combined...

"Money" is played

(KAOS jingle)

Announcer:-	And now a word from one of our sponsors: 

- Girls are you tired of your boring job? Going crazy because your dweeb of a boss
has you running for coffee all day?
Well here's the answer:
The professional BIMBO-school 
From the Rosemary Wood latest "Tape It" techniques, to the fine art  of shredding,
we'll teach you everything you need to know:
	How to frost your hair.
	How to respond to a Senate Sub-Commitee.
	How to stab yourself with a fingernail in your palmto induce artificial tears.
	We tell you how to manipulate your moronic ego-centric employer.
	We'll arrange for scarcely clad photo's to appear, unauthorized, in sleazy 
	magazines.
	We'll find a former best friend to rat on you.
	We'll even arrange for you to find GOD, write a book, and to do lecture tours 
	in your declining years.
	You don't have to know how to type letters,
	You don't even have to know how to turn over letters.
	
The time is right  for all women everywhere.
And you will even become a Bimbo Graduate.

Just call 976-BIMBO - NOW!

(Roger sings:- Einz zvei drei anger)

"In The Flesh" is played.
"Have A Cigar" is played.
"Pigs Iii different ones" is played.
"Wish You Were Here" is played.
"Mother" is played.

Jim:- 	Wembley, I give you the words and the music of Roger Waters!
		An unbelievable set of songs, it doesn't matter which side of the
		atlantic your on
		In that set we heard : "Mother," from an album entitled The
		Wall, The title track from Wish You Were Here ,
		"Pigs" from the Animals album, "Have a Cigar" also from 
		Wish You Were Here , and we began with "In The Flesh Part II"
		 also from The Wall.
		 
Jim:- 	You & I are listening to Radio KAOS.
		
(KAOS jingle)

Jim:- 	OK' let's get back to Billy...
		Billy...? Yooh Billy?
Billy:- I'm sorry Jim, I was miles away, keeping an eye on molly.
Jim:- 	You were keeping an eye on Molly,
		I thought Molly lived in Wales.
Billy:- I hacked my way into a surveillance satelite
		I can see all of Wales, from 500 Miles high Jim.
Jim:- 	Let me get this straight. You're trying to tell me that you can 
		keep an eye on Molly by hacking into a government satelite?
		Come on.
		
"Molly's Song" is played. 

Hold tight Baby, baby dear in the starlight,
there is a glow in the stars tonight,
it's moving,
it could be your satelite.. 

Is it burning deep,
Then will it bring me closer to thee
Oh two hearts to be free
Or will it keep us apart 

Whooooo 

Billy, Billy, Billy,
When you're coming home
cause I need you back,
and I want you back
right now, right here

Whooooooo 

Billy,Billy,Billy,
where did we go wrong
And it's not all that bad
And I know your heart though
And I want you to know
I'm here for you  

Whoo Whoo Whoo
Billy, Billy, Billy,
when you're coming home
And it's not all that bad 
and I know your heart through

Ooohoohoo
Ohhohohohohoh 

Goodbye little spy in the sky,
they say that camera's don't lie,
Am I happy, am I sad,
am I good , am I bad 

Oh Billy, Billy, come home
Ooooh I need you, Yeahhhhh

Jim:- 	Ladies and gentlemen; Miss Doreen chanter 

Jim:- 	Well Billy,if you really are as clever as you say,
		perhaps you can close the door.
		
(Ka-Clank)

		Thank you.
		
"Me Or Him" is played. 

Jim:-	And now for some live rock'n'roll at K.A.O.S. where rock'n'roll 
		comes out of chaos in a song called The Powers That Be
		
"The Powers That Be"is played. 

Roger:- 	Thank you we're gonna... we will take a break for about ten minutes, 
			and then we'll be back to do some more.
			
Jim:- 		Thank you, for exactly 10 minutes, we'll turn it 
			over to our local station. Radio KAOS will return in just a moment.
			
( During the break , a movie is shown, something about some russians
 interrogating someone about UFO sightings)

Sound man:-	OK welcome back, the people out in the audio truck say you
 			didn't do half bad for an English audience. You were nice and loud,
 		 	and you woke everybody up in LA who were trying to sleep. So we're
 		 	gonna do a few new ones this time. So will you welcome back once
 		 	more the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr Jim Ladd.

Jim:-	Welcome back to part two of the Radio KAOS show, this is the 
		part of the show where we take a couple more telephones calls
		from the audience to find out what you thought of the first
		part of the show, or generally what is on your mind.
		
Jim:-	Hello Roger, how are you? (crowd goes crazy)
		
Rog: 	Hello there


		(Phone in questions were shortened by the transcriber)
		
Jim:- 		We have out first caller here...

Rog:- 	Speak to me...

Caller:- Roger, Have you ever thought of running for president?

Rog:- 	What a horrible thought, NO!
 
Caller:- Do you believe that the tide is really turning ?

Rog:- 	Yes and No.

Caller:- Were Wish You Were Here, The Wall and The Final Cut written from
 		personal experience?

Rog:- 	Yes.

Caller:- Do you think of Maggie (Thatcher), when you sing the second
		verse of PIgs?

Rog:- 	Occasionally, but others also.

Jim:- 	I'd like to continue with the second half of Radio KAOS, but 
		first a word from one of our sponsors

Hi friends, welcome to The Forest Lawn Fawn Hall Memorial Funeral Home.
In todays HiTech world of space technology and robotics
we at Fawn Hall continue to deliver the latest techniques for dealing
with the ineviitable.

Yes friends I'm talking about the day the grim reaper knocks on your
door, or that of a beloved one.

Well now, in addition to our conventional methods of burial and cremation,
we offer you the all new Forest Lawn Fawn Hall Memorial Shredding Alternative.
Consider the adventages of the burial of your whole family in the area once
solely occupied by Uncle Henry under the old method.
Friends shredding is the way of the future! Fast economical and efficient.

So come in today, and see, and ask about the latest methods of burial technology,
 the all new Forest Lawn Fawn Hall Memorial Shredding
Alternative.
And remember, when you think dead, think shred!
Call 1-800-WESHRED today!!
 
"Going To Live In La" is played

(KAOS jingle)

Jim:- 	We think of it as main street.
		But to the rest of the world, it's known as the Sunset strip.
		
"Sunsetstrip" is played

(KAOS jingle)

Jim:- 	We've all been wondering how this next bit was going to play in London.
		You see it's kind of a combination of sexual innuendo and
		sports-fishing so ...
		
LLL LL Ladies And Gentlemen... The Fish Report With A Beat.
Featuring Paraquat Kelly, and his fishing companion Cynthia Fox!

Alright it's time now for The Fish Report With A Beat.
	85 red rockhard rock cod
	35 Naughty bits
	Marina dildo.....
And that'll do it for this edition of The Fish Report With A Beat.

Rog:- 	They liked it

Jim:- 	Ladies and Gentleman, on Guitar, Andy "The Hat" FairWeather Low!

Rog:- 	This one is for our great leader,who's been extremely busy killing
		people in the South Atlantic.
		
"Get Your Filthy Hands Of My Desert" is played.

"Southhampton Dock" is played.

Jim:- 	Well...

Billy:- Hey Jim, I've been listening to your show.
Jim:- 	Billy...?
Billy:- Look what I have found Jim...
Jim:- 	Billy, I appreciate that your magician with the cordless telephone and
 		all but we're on the air live, and you can't just cut in any time you
 	 	want.
Billy:- You'll like this Jim.
Jim:- 	Billy (sigh)...
Billy:- I found this in the files of Abbey Road Studios.

(Billy takes control over the video display and shows a video of: Arnold Layne)

Rog: 	The great Syd Barrett, lest we forget.

Jim:- 	Well Billy, I don't know how you did that... Well just try to...
		Have you come up with a solution yet ?
Billy:- I'm getting closer
Jim:- 	Well, we'll let our young computer genius work on his particular
	 	problem, while we continue with a song entitled "IF".
	 	
"If" is played.

"5:06 AM (Every Strangers Eyes" is played.

(KAOS jingle)

Jim:- 	Alright let's get back to Billy and find out how he is coming along.
Billy:- Just going through some data... it doesn't look good!

(News flash)
...A third of the Amazon rain forest has been destroyed, mostly for grazing
land for cattle to supply the USA with hamburgers...
...For each person around the world, 2 to 3 trees are destroyed each year,
representing an area the size of England and Scotland...

"Not Now John" is played

Jim:-	You will remember at the beginning of the show we had a call from the
		hall from a guy by the name of Sean who wanted to hear more music
		from The Wall? Well Sean, this one's for you, it's called "Another
		Brick In The Wall"
	 	
"Another Brick In The Wall (Pt 1)" is played

Jim:- 	Alright Wembley, your in fine voice tonight.
		Since we're on the subject of education, in America one goes to school
		for 12 years, cramming your mind full useless facts called homework,
		trying to please your parents, and trying to please your teachers, and
	 	when you come out at the end of these 12 years, the lights are on,
		but there's nobody home!
		
"Nobody Home" is played

Billy:-	I'm finished Jim.

Jim- 	You're finished billy...? Have you solved the problem?
		Have you come to some sort of decision yet?

Billy:-	Jim, it's later than you think

Jim- 	It sure is later then I think, but what's your point...
		( Franatic bongo drums start)

Billy:-	It's time to go home.

Jim- 	Easy maestro. What do you mean, it's time to go home...?
		(more drums) Billy? Easy Billy.

Billy:-	It's time to go home, Jim.

"HOME" is played

(bongo's, then Military fire controllers are heard 
in the war-room on the radio.)

Bearing 060 range... 
Nuke analyzer...
This is the SPO, confidence report now.
Missile confidence is high.
Confidence is high! Inform missile warning, inform command HQ.
Hello we have an ICBM in the system and our confidence is high.
Missile warning informed sir,
Thank you....

Billy: 	4 minutes and counting.
	 	I've decided to stop the pain.
 		I'm going to push the button.
 		I'm sorry Jim, it's end.

Dorreen Chanter sings:-	"Everybody needs somebody"
						"Everybody needs somebody"
						"Everybody needs someone they call home"
						"Everybody needs someone they call home"

"4 Minutes" is played


(Everything goes BLACK!!)

"Folded Flags" is played

There must be more to life,
then lucky strikes and some unlucky ones,
and folded flags and pipes and drums

Billy:-	I wanted everyone to know what it felt like,
		you, 
		me, 
		and The Powers That Be.
		Will you forgive me Jim?
Jim:- 	If you'll swear you'll never do it again!

"The Tide Is Turning" is played

(Includes the lost verse which did not appear on the album.)

"The tide is turning sylvester
We shall not be dragged down in your south china sea,
of macho bulllshit and mediocrity" 

Rog: 	The bleeding heart band:
		Mr Mel Colins.
		on the drums Graham Broad.
		Jay Stapley.
		Mrs Doreen Chanter.
		Miss Katie Kissoon.
		Mr Paul Carrack.
		The incredible Andy FairWeather Low.
		and from Southern California, the voice of Radio KAOS, Mr Jim Ladd.
		Thank you!!

Someone:- Roger Waters!!!

Rog: 	(Crowd cheering and applause!!!) Thank you, thank you all for coming,
	 	we'll see you all again very soon. In about a minute. (Rog and the band
 		leave the stage.)
	 	
(Rog and the band come back on stage and do the encore)

Rog: 	We've eh,(crowd cheering), OK, we've got eh, we've got a friend with us
	   	tonight. You, most of you, will know her voice from an album from a
	   	long time ago, Dark Side of The Moon, and she's come here to do some
	   	songs with us, Miss Clare Torey!!!
		
"Breathe" is played

"The Great Gig in the Sky" is played

"Braindamage" is played
 

"Eclipse" is played